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When I was a child, there was one domain in which my grades would really crash, to my disappointment and the one of my parents. Sports. I am and was not talented at all with throwing, dribbling, catching,etc... balls of any kind. And such sports dominated most of our Physical Education.
As my body also was quite small for my age, I was usually one of the last picked, when teams were organised, no matter the sport. It was never a good feeling. A part of me tried to not resent it. I tried to understand that it was not personal, it was a strategical choice made for a team. Another part of me boiled to prove myself. Yet another knew that I would fail and because of that, I did not belong and did not deserve to be here.
When on the field, I was often overwhelmed by trying to understand where each member of my team were, which role they had, how to best support, how to read the opponents, how to receive the ball, how to communicate, where to go... It was just too much for me and I did not seem to get better at it with practice. So I disliked P.E. Except for the time of the year, typically fall, when we would run instead.
Running felt so much better in comparison. The objectives were simple. Beat a time, stay on the path. Despite being small, it appeared that this was an activity in which I could get better results than average. Because of that contrast, finally succeeding in some form, in a domain where I would mostly feel shame, I started liking it and pushing myself to get better at it. It was simple. There was some discomfort, running outside in the mud and the cold, feeling blood in my mouth or my articulations aching after going a bit hard. But all these elements felt at least more in my control. I would end up with good grades, which made me proud.
Later, in high school, one of the stronger kids even recruited me to be part of a team, in order to prepare for a series of races meant for adults. We met the bare minimum age requirement, at 16 or so, and while our performance was nothing to write home about, the achievement of preparing and doing the races together is a precious memory. It felt good to be selected, but more than that it felt good to challenge myself beyond what school would ask for.
During my studies, I did not do a lot of sports. But once I started working again, I had the opportunity to do some local races with colleagues. Putting the shoes on and training again felt good. And I must admit it also felt good to beat some of my peers fair and square. Later, we did try for a half marathon with some colleagues, which was the first time I tried for that distance. In order to get a decent time, it meant training for longer and much more regularly. This time, I was not the first of our group on the finish line. But instead of feeling dejected, it motivated me to try harder. What did I miss? How can I get better? That is one thing I really like about running. It stimulates my competitiveness without being aggressive toward others. Running is about you. Based on your running history, you can estimate what time to target. By how much can you improve this time? How far can you push? That is exciting to me.
So this is one aspect. But while races are important, I think it's for the race preparation that I keep running. It is so easy on a cold, rainy day to stay inside and skip training. It takes a little courage to put your shoes on and go run. It takes discipline to do so several times a week. Each time that I train, it's a little victory over apathy. And it makes me feel good about myself. If I succeed in overcoming that discomfort, it makes me feel like other obstacles in my life are also achievable. It removes some of the friction to action that my brain naturally creates.
It does not mean that I always succeed in going out. There are hot summer days or cold winter evenings where I really, really don't feel like it. But most of the times, I do succeed. By tracking your performance, you have the data to confront the truth easily. And by going to official races once in a while, you get clear goals and a way to test yourself. By having friends or family that run also, you get to encourage each other. Some like long distances in cities, other prefer trail running in the forest. Some go for a leisurely jog next to the beach, other go for ultramarathons in mud. I think there is a flavour for everyone.
It's simple, it only takes a good pair of shoes and maybe something to track your performance[0]. The rest is really optional, although I must say that running in music made long distances much more palatable. So dear reader, if you never tried, see if there is a 5km race nearby and try it out. If you are healthy, the preparation shouldn't be massive and it can be a nice way to test if it is something for you too. I hope you can find your own kind of joy in it.
[0] I like FitoTrack. I am not affiliated in any way. I just like it.
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